who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, April 5, 2008

HELP..i'm a boredishly bored boredholic...hey i couldnt think of a tittle!

i'm bored. today i realized that the most frustrating thing about braiding your hair ain't just the seating down for hours to do it, the loosening is killing too. i'm home on a saturday afternoon, obviously bored, cruising through facebook, loosening my hair, checking youtube out, blog hopping,...damn, i'm super woman.
wondering why i didnt just go to the saloon and have four eager girls pounce on my hair...well i guess i actually felt i could be super woman. its not working for me.

*things that make the early morning drive to work worthwhile:

-three fit men...three lovely fellas running within the estate, they always do this same time in the mornings every week day. and i just stare out and envy them, they dont have to be heading off to work by 7. plus they're cute cute cute.

-the light skinned lone runner whos just too georgeous, all tall and well built..lol. he always passes just by our car, i get tempted to hold my head out and scream out to him...thats a thought i'm holding on to. might do it soon.

-the guy in the apple store at civic center. hes there before 8am and working on his system. sometimes we drive by when he's trying to pack his car. a hydia tucson jeep(i could even give the registration number, but thats going to far). havent seen his face clearly but he looks cute from afar.

i sometimes wonder if i'd see all this people at a different place,dressed in something that isnt a sweat shirt and running shoes.have i walked past them in a shop, or a lounge or....
would we meet in another country? maybe at the tube station...or... and never know they are the ones.


*my time out hide out spots:
-in the bathroom
-behind my bed
-on the roof top where the overhead tank seats.

*habits i want to kick:
-shopping, well at least i want to start shopping with sense.
-living without a budget
-nonchallancy
-sod love, sod guys, sod it all, i'm cool like that attitude(not so cool anymore)
-insecurities about my looks(so strange but i'm so vulnerable when it comes to my looks. i know i cant be called hideously ugly, but then sometimes i wonder. i have to kick those thoughts out)

*things i used to be:
-an amebo..lol. being the last i was prone to report any and everything to mum, no one could escape my spills, not even dad. when we hear moms car outside, everyone would start singing the cnn tune/nta/bcc(whatever they feel like)tune for me, they knew i was going to be giving her the evening news. now i hardly talk, i have lots of stuff bottled up. everyone begs me to spill...what an irony.lol

-brave...not anymore. when you have a gun pointed at you,or you have armed men come to your house twice and its your name they keep screaming, you seize to be the brave girl that you were. i hate what its make me become. scared of driving out alone at night and bla bla bla...

-weight conscious. i used to be a uk size 12, then a 6, and now hovering at 8/10(no drastic weight loss therapy..no, apparently every girl in moms family goes from chubby to bone thin and then a lil' bit of flesh). i've realized that being thin is overrated. flesh is good. i'm an african i need to work that booty. like dbanj croons...'i love that booty.....that overload'. wonder why we get so engrossed in all the sturves, being healthy is what really matters yeah?

*things i'm looking forward to:
-learning to ride a bike...if its the last thing i ever do(well not really) but i've been a biker chic deep down for as long as i can remember. i hope to get my bike someday(actually the security guard offered to teach me, but thats so not how i picture my riding lessons to be like,...sigh)

-eat at ghana high.
i've heard stories about the food at ghana high. so am i the only one in lagos who hasnt shared in the goods? hope not. if you havent then hit me up, we need to share this experience together. hopefully it aint all over hyped.

-marriage, funny enough, the wedding is the least of what i look forward to. i try to see beyond that. the actual marriage, living together, tolerating, having our babies..
i look forward to all that. i'll leave my mom to look forward to the actual wedding itself. i guess when i'm completely sure of THE ONE, then my mind would be triggered towards getting excited about the wedding.

-starting my NGO. i cant wait, have i taken steps? no, but i still cant wait. i want to see children smile and know that i helped in some way, i want to see woman happy and know that they've been liberated from abuse cos of something i've done. i'll get there i know.

-standing in front of a church and preaching. its weird but i keep imaging that someday i'd be this preacher that would impact people in so many ways. giving heart changing sermons and you know...serving God to the best of my ability.
its hard trying to be a christian, so hard, but i'll try, i'll keep trying. and i'm so looking forward to reaching that level where i'd be at peace with myself.

crap, i guess i'm no super fly super woman, i'm tired, multi tasking sucks. this post came out of sheer boredom. off to the salon. hopefully it wouldnt be crowded.

8 comments :

  1. Am i 1st? u need to give me price 4 always being 1st.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol' madame...was going to give you this gift...but then you claimed 'always first' and so i changed my mind...tsk tsk, next time dont place a demand for what is rightfully yours,if it hasnt been held away from you yet, it'll lead to investigations and then discovery. sorry, cashmere scarf going back to my wardrobe...lmao(the thriller way)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i'm glad u finally got done with ur hair..........i need a trim too(isnt this spose to be 4 d other post?)

    u want to learn how to ride a bike? omo go to my village n they'll teach u how to ride a bicycle lol, if u succeed then u can ride a bike......very easy!

    "on the roof top where the overhead tank seats"........huh? how on earth do u get on d roof?

    ReplyDelete
  4. i want ma scarf now! infact imma call n threaten u.......u knw i can do that right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love loosening my hair myself even if it's a million braids...thats cos I hate people pulling my hair....

    What bike??? power bikes??..I love them from afar and would love to be at the back of one with a buff rough rider but since I lost a manger in lag to a power bike ride I have changed my mind oh...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I haven't eaten at ghana high!!! we should go together one day....when next I come to naija.

    ReplyDelete
  7. the guy in the apple store at civic centre. hes there before 8am and working on his system. sometimes we drive by when he's trying to pack his car. a hydia tucson jeep(i could even give the registration number, but thats going to far). ahvent seen his face clearly but he looks cute from afar.


    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, thats my boss you are talking about... i will tell him ohhhh

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...