who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Doggy no be bingo...

I'm not a dog person. Maybe i once went crazy when daddy brought a black puppy home, we all really did care for her. I watched her grow, i watched her have her puppies and i cried when they had to give some of the puppies away. But my dog affair died after that dog died. If i have to touch a dog, i run to scrub my hands right after. While i think some of them are cute, i don't think they're cute enough to jump on my bed, eat from my plate or lick my face. I am not 'anti-dog', I'm just not into them beyond awwwing and uhhhhing when i see cute puppies or watch dog movies.

My sister and i were driving out one day and we saw a man walking this beautiful dogs, and she said "they're blessed with nice dogs here(obodo oyinbo), God knows why we don't have such dogs in Nigeria"
And indeed she couldn't have been more correct. With all the malnourished bingos walking the streets of Nigeria, the dog is nothing near a 'man's best friend'. Just a handful of people drive around Lagos with their dogs in their cars... mostly expatriates and wannabe ladies who've watched too much movies for their own good, and this handful are the ones buying the dog food and treating their dogs like humans with respect.
Nigerian dogs are given anything to eat... why bother with dog food when they can eat whatever they can find in the dump, or whatever you can't finish from your plate ...
apparently Dog meat is called 404

I used to think the 'joke' of eating dogs was just a joke... apparently i was wrong. I saw this article in the papers some months ago and i was stunned, like seriously? I remember as a child this man riding a bicycle would ride past the house with miserable looking dogs in a cage tied behind his bike. Our help at that time would tell me the dogs were sold to him and he was going to resell it to those(from a particular geographical location of the country) who ate it. It was just a plain silly old joke to me.
a friend put this up as his DP
"God knows why we don't have such dogs running round the streets of Nigeria"
Imagine a nice little Chihuahua head served isi-ewu style, or a bull dog stew or hound dog suya, or peppered poodle.....
I checked and there are over three hundred breeds of dogs out there. Most of them dressed in more designer gears than some could ever afford to own, going to dog spas and having their own nannies et co. Treated better than some children in this country.
Yet we only see the usual bingo type dogs and Alsatian dogs in Nigeria(...and not because they're our best friends, but because who else would assist the guards in keeping our houses safe?) And just a handful of the cute breeds. Oh, we have the others, but they know better than to spew the streets of Nigeria:) .

They say its a 'dog eat dog world' out there. But in Nigeria... It's a man eat dog world. Dogs may be a mans best friend, but backbiting best friends is taken literal in these parts :)
Be sure to drop by at Itoroobong when ever you're in the area... We can't guarantee Labrador peppersoup, but at least you get to drink the palm wine, and a nice bowl of gear box(plate of dogs liver,heart and kidneys) or maybe a plate of Tyre is what you would prefer(dog legs), maybe telephone?(dog's tail) or probably headlights(the bowl where the dog eyes happen to be in, more like the isi-ewu of dog world). We promise we do the sentencing(clubbing the dog to death before cooking) ourselves, so you don't have to worried if you're eating a dead dog found on the road, and our meals are cooked with the expertise only an akwa ibom Okon can whip up.

*apparently dog meat is called 404 after the Peugeot 404 car because dogs run as fast as the car. Who would have thought? And yes i did a bit of research on this. It's beyond me that anyone would want to eat a dog, shouldn't that be called cannibalism?... ewwww. Ok, i know someone goes eww at the thought of others eating beef, but hey... I've never had a cow as a pet.


6 comments:

  1. Ahn ahhnn, I don't think it should be equated to cannibalism o, After all they aren't humans and we aren't dogs.

    Is it when the common man cannot feed in Nigeria that we will start feeding dogs with better food? I hope you know that canned dog food is more expensive than the food you and I eat most times.
    The dog-breeding culture we have is just a function of the society we live in

    atilola.blogspot.com

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  2. i forgot to mention that dog meat aka 404 is more expensive than beef, goat or chicken meat. it's a delicacy...

    it's not just about feeding the dog et co.
    my grandma had cats when we were growing up, it ate well, but i kicked it around a lot, you wouldn't see me holding a cat and cuddling it just because...
    live the food out... My point is we just don't have empathy towards animals like some of this people do. we're just not cut out for it.

    and i say cannibalism because i've watched documentaries and movies of how humans and dogs relate, from the guard dogs leading the blind et co makes me see them in a different light. It's just a personal view.

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  3. LMAO....so those who eat horses nko in Italy? While I wont eat dog meat, (if I know it is dog meat) to me, animal is animal is animal..

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  4. I grew with dogs, totally love 'em but can't keep one, where's the time to dote over one dog lol
    lol @ your breakdown of the various peppersoup parts! can't understand what pple see in dog meat, but it isn't cannibalism though it may seem like it cos the dog is man's best friend:)

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  5. faith full creature, my German Shepard protect my home. So i don't bear his loose.
    http://www.economicaldesignerbags.com

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  6. You are a bastard,4 disgracing ur country. I love dogs and can do anything for them. And listen dummy! There are different breeds of dogs in nigeria too,i myself have a doberman pinscher,a golden retriever,a saint bernard and a border colie. So 4 ppl who eat them,dat nature coz we(humans) are on top of the food chain. So think well before postin. Douche bag!

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