who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Drowning in Love.

I love my nieces so much, more than numbers like they would say.... but as much as i love them, sometimes i love my space more... and i wish the summer holiday would be over so they'd get back to school and i can breath freely without having to inhale their sweet and sometimes infuriating selves for a couple of hours. Because sometimes Love tries to drown you, and without that air? Love turns to irritation... and yapping and snapping.

Somethings are so important to us as humans, like time out to think and reflect and write or daydream or whatever... so important that you allow love to stay on hold for a few minutes. Not even love can stop this want for space.
Moments where i want to be away from everything and forget them for a minute or two... I know they feel the same way too, sometimes i see it in their faces when i try to kiss them and act goofy with them, I'm just not funny in those moments, they would rather be alone than deal with the excess of love i splash on them.

And so it is in life, with all the love we have for our own, be it a spouse or a child or music or whatever, normal is us wanting to sometimes run away, to have breathing space, away from their bickering, away from the reports of who did what and not, away from the questions, away from the hugs and just away before we go crazy....

"Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I'd never forget you-never. Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16 
Even a mother of a new born babe sometimes wants her space, she wants to just hand the baby over and check in to some spa or hotel to forget it all, to inhale lavender, cherry blossoms et co, have time to herself, drown out the noise of all the demand love makes on her... even the most loving mother cherishes the moments they can forget their children for a few hours sometimes. 

But God doesn't.
Not ever, not even for a second, he'll never abandon us, even in the midst of our whining and complaining and demands and bugging and it all, he stays by our side, patient and filled with love, that is all sufficient, that is so powerful it doesn't need that breath of fresh air to survive... he never ever gets tired of us, he's just so great... he's just so kind, so sweet.
I mean, you can't say a guy loves you more than enough that he gives you undivided attention 24/7, theres always that moment when the game is on and you're nothing but an irritant when you keep yapping on and on about unimportant stuff and he wants to run from you(even when he says it's okay)... why he would rather watch the game at some bar with the mates. Or when he's working on this really huge deal he needs to close and there you are asking if you look fat in your jeans... Major reason for that fresh air.

But God is so different.
Its so amazing when he says “....I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 there's this statement so simple and filled with honesty, but the simplicity of it all makes it easy to ignore.
There you are, crying and saying this desperate prayer about some silly dress you need to wear for some event and how you think you look fat in it or about this pimple that's appeared on your nose and he's listening, paying attention not loosing focus on you for one minute while same time he gives as much attention to a person dying of cancer and crying for help... nothing is more important than our silliest rant to him. There he is, listening, caring, laughing at our silly jokes, stroking out head, kissing us when we lay down to sleep drenched in worry... he's there on our worst days, not once thinking he needs a break from our craziness.

I've come to realize that when we feel like he's far from us, or he's really forsaken us contrary to his word, we need to check ourselves, because he doesn't lie, he's true to his word... thus we are the ones doing the leaving, we are the ones doing the forsaking, because we get distracted easily by the things of the world. But the best thing about this is he's there waiting for us... you want the attention, then you stick with him, get your shoe lace tangled with his, so when the issues of life tries to drift you away, you get yanked back. Funny how i sing this song by pussycat dolls to him... but it just breaks down all I'm trying to say "Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever. Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick with you. You know how to appreciate me. I must stick with you, my baby. Nobody ever made me feel this way. I must stick with you."

I might be goofy sometimes, and annoying, and people might want to take a break from me... but that don't matter, because I've got a love that is constant through pms and blonde chic moments, through local champ modes and diva sessions...
There really is no greater love. His love for us goes beyond what we can ever understand as humans, because its just not human never to come up to the surface for fresh air when swimming in love... He's never needed a break from us, no matter how messed up, spoilt, stubborn and selfish we are sometimes... the beauty of the fathers love is out of this world... stick with him and enjoy it.

5 comments:

  1. The other day my husband asked me what I fantasized about the most and my answer shocked him. I said I would just love a few hours away from him and the kids. Be on my own cut away from everything and just reconnect with myself. I love my family very much and sometimes like you rightly said their love could be drowning. Everyone needs space. That comes with our human nature. But God is so Amazing. He is never tired of us. It actually gives me a good feeling that there is someone who doesnt need no scratch that someone who doesnt want to take a break from me.

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  2. Reminds me of one of my fav hymns; 'Can a woman's tender care
    cease towards the child she bare? Yes, she may forgetful be,
    yet will i remember thee.'

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  3. u always inspire me to be a better person *sigh* God's love is the greatest :')

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  4. @okeoghene a feeling like no other. Thank God for God

    @Etoile never heard that hymn before. its so spot on.

    @nyc thanks

    @kitkat thank you for your kind words :) and yes God's love is the greatest love of all.

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