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"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Please don't blame me...

This is a story I've shared on this blog before. Recent events made me dig it up.
It's about Mr. Dele. He was my teacher in my primary school. I think i was in class 3/4(i forget). He always smelt of cigarettes, and he was so uglyyyyyy, we gave him a nickname. We called him 'caricature' behind his back, not like we knew the meaning but it sounded like a name an ugly person ought to have.

Sometimes i was asked to pick and drop off our work books for the different subjects in the store room after our lessons. The room was large and quite dark, anything could happen in there with no one knowing except someone happened to walk in. I don't think an SOS sent from in there would have been heard either.

I'm in there one day and Mr. Dele walks in, smelling of cigarettes as usual, and his 'caricature' face smiling at me in the semi dark room. He said "Joy Joy, when will i enjoy you?"....

My poor naive self had only one idea of what he spoke of and so i said "on my birthday" in the tiny voice i reserved exclusively for adults (i was thinking sweets, cakes and drinks)
"when is your birthday?" he asked inching closer, his ugly face and tobacco brown teeth looking more horrible with the poor lighting.
"July 6th" i answered shyly.
"that's too far now" he grumbled still inching closer.

Just then some other students walked in and he went about his business, i picked my books up and walked out. I remember that i felt relieved to be out of there, i didn't know why... but getting back to my class was a joy.
Somehow that scene never left my head, in uni i 'gisted' a couple of friends, we had a good laugh and i even had to live with the mocking of 'Joy Joy when would i enjoy you' in their best Mr Dele impressions... the mocking and laughter came after i analyzed the situation... What if people didn't walk in when they did? This apparently was deeper than the laughs, probably why I've never forgotten it, i can still see it all in my head.
What if he touched me or tried something more? It was a dark room, and remember i said an SOS would have been very ambitious.
How many others did he corner and try to 'enjoy'?
Did he actually molest anyone?

I'm thankful today that the story is different, but are there other lil' girls out there in our schools being molested and feeling too scared to speak out? Maybe because they don't understand what's happened to them?... I know i wouldn't have said anything if he actually tried something, i have a habit of keeping things inside me till they eat me up... I didn't mention this to anyone till i was in uni... I've never even mentioned it to my family.
That's the story of Mr. Dele. Wonder if he's still alive...fool like him. that event has somehow managed to keep replaying in my head all these years.
And that's what it is, girls walking the street carrying deep scars left from violations of their bodies but too afraid to speak up. Afraid of the shame and the blame from the society.Because somehow it was their fault, even when they know it wasn't.
I was about six years or there about when this happened, would they have said it was my fault if it went beyond the talk?

That's why my heart breaks for lady in the video being circulated. Read more on the video here I haven't seen it and i don't intend to. It doesn't matter if it was in ABSUU or within the boundaries of Abia state or not.(i wonder why this is more important to the government et co) What matters is that it happened, and the boys were in their right senses because they thought to record the horrific act... if we excuse them by saying maybe they were high on drugs or call it temporal insanity, then what's the excuse for the video been circulated? I'm sure whatever demon supposedly possessed them must have gone for a snack when they hit the send button. It shows they felt no remorse and they actually felt good about what they did. There is no excuse for such a barbaric act... none what so ever. It's sad that even in this case, people still blame the girl. Even if she dressed like some girl out of a 50cent video, she still didn't deserve it.

    "wise people think before they act;fools don't-and even brag about their foolishness" Proverbs 13:16

When babies cry as hard as they can and still don't get any attention, they suck on something, be it their thumbs, tongue or gum and go back to sleep... i hope this doesn't go to sleep, for as long as it takes, i hope the cry and the anger is kept alive, i hope we don't get tired and go back to watching 'oliver' dance videos. At least let this be the one in the hundred we never hear about that gets justice.

The law of six decrees says, you're approximately six steps away by way of introduction from every other person on earth. A friend of a friend of a friend. If we don't start speaking out now, you're just six steps away from knowing the next lady that will be raped, and too scared to speak out... Like Myne says "Speak up and Stop the predators".
I desperately hope the young lady finds the courage to speak. I pray God heals her heart, only his grace can make her whole again after such an ordeal. I also hope all the silent voices muted by the pain and shame of their ordeal begin to speak too. Silence is a 'get out of jail free' pass for all the sickos who smile at our children, our sisters and our mothers.

8 comments:

  1. i hope she finds the courage to come out

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  2. ...this is sad but we all can share a story of a creepy teacher in primary school...my gawd my skin still crawls when i think of how gawd saved me on so many occassions from perverted teachers..sure my ass never got beaten becuz i was his favorite but..it still haunts me when he teases and calls my name seductively. i also wonder if he was successful with other pupils..

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  3. Thank God for sending 'angels' to save you that day.
    For the girl to get justice, she has to step out. It might be dauting, but there are no two ways about it.

    atilola.blogspot.com

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  4. Nice piece Joy...really nice
    Omada Amuta

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  5. Thanks for taking the time out to write this Stu. I get sad after reading it!
    http://www.economicaldesignerbags.com

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  6. Thank God for saving you. Who knows,maybe your teacher has seen this article.

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  7. Uncle Dele(caricature) later had a case of molesting someone... I'm sure u had left ny then.

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