who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Closest thing to crazy...

photo credit:http://ranunculusadventure.blogspot.com
I stood with my sister T waiting for the train on one of those crazy cold December days. We were going to the hummingbird bakery to order for a red velvet Christmas cake and then i had to go to Selfridges to pick up this gorgeous bag, not for me but for my other sister. She felt she deserved it, i felt she deserved it, and so i willingly played personal shopper/deliver girl.
I had a nice amount of cash in my bag and i also had her debit card in my wallet. I would be walking through the shops with no cash of my own, going to look at bags and all the other stuff i don't really need but think i do cos the shops have them on display. Have you ever been broke in London? Not just broke and indoors, but broke and going to the shops when thousands of shoppers are shopping and loads of shops are on sale? Some people break down at that thought.
I was in a jolly cheerful mood.

I had a wise crack which wasn't so funny, but worth voicing out, something about how it's easier to avoid mouth odors in winter, because we can see the vapor coming out of the mouth so you know where to dock to when a person speaks.
Before the words could come out, i burst out laughing. Oh my, i laughed so hard, for about ten minutes i was bent over, clutching my belly, and laughing my heart out. I couldn't stop. I was confused, because i knew without a shadow of a doubt that if measured, my joke wasn't worth the intensity of the laugh.
It was getting embarrassing, thankfully, i don't have the snorting kind of laugh :) My sister walked away from me to save her face. I noticed a few stares but i just couldn't stop. I would try to calm myself down to tell my sister the reason for my laughter, share the 'inside joke' but instead of words, more laughter poured out.

It felt goooooooood. But then i got scared when i couldn't stop. Is there really something like a laughing sickness? or have i gone mad?  Oh God, i can't be mad, i just can't and the more i tried to think myself through it, the more laughter spilled out, my ribs hurt, my cheeks ached, my eyes got watery as i kept laughing uncontrollable. The train came and i got in still laughing. Thinking back, i can't remember how i stopped.

But i loved that moment. It was like a loosening of knots i didn't know existed in me... And i kind of figured that i really was mad after all. The good sort of mad. I love Alice's response to the Mad hatter when he asked if he was going mad "I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are" 
I guess Mad isn't all that bad. Sometimes we're crazy even in the sane things we do, sometimes being crazy gives us the courage to do the things that ought to be done, like fall in love, chase your dreams and trust God amongst other wonderful things.

Life is really worth more than our worries and fears, more than our lacks and heartbreaks. Laughter loosens the knots within, makes us lighter, reminds us that nothing is that serious.
As i wrote this Proverbs 31:25 came to mind "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future" 

Laughter truly is a gift. I'm glad i had that experience.  Go through life laughing.
 P.S Happy birthday to my sister Talatu. Even though she denies me in my moments of craziness, and sometimes drives me crazy, even though she's gleefully confessed to pinching me and giving me military training as a baby, i Still love her. God bless you real good.

                               
Birthday girl and I. Our very own willy willy reenactment
                               
                                         
We look decent enough when we're not scaring people... Laughing with no fear of the future..XoXXo

1 comment :

  1. Happy Birthday to ur sister. You girls are beautiful. I have one of those uninhibited laughters. It's wonderful :)

    ReplyDelete

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