who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, November 28, 2011

Man, I feel like a woman

Miss Sahhara
I found this video and knew i had to share it here.
It's about Miss Sahara, UK based Nigerian model/singer/songwriter. A beautiful woman you would say.
I went to school with 'Miss' Sahara, although i never knew her personally, but then almost everyone knew who she was. I saw her around campus and listened to all the gossip and judgment passed on her for being the person that she chose to be. (I've got to admit i wasn't only a listener sometimes, i was among those who talked about her with my nose turned up) She would be at the forefront of beauty pageants on campus, teaching the girls to catwalk and stuff. She was a typical girly girl, a little too girly in an obvious way, that she was a prey to hurtful words and judgment.

After going through a lot of prejudice and insults i stopped seeing her on campus... Didn't hear about her for a while and suddenly pictures of her surfaced online, totally transformed. She damned tradition, refused to conform and chose to be who she wanted to be without being judged... of course she had to relocate to London to live out her dream, to free her inhibition without getting stoned and dissed by the (daily fading) traditional way of life in Nigeria.
She was once a man mocked for being girly and queer, but today he's transformed in every physical way and has become a woman.



He's now her. source:http://www.sahhara.co.uk
There have been insults thrown at her/him... filthy names and all which i don't think is right.
I still can't understand the need to go through a sex change, not just wearing girls clothes or being a tom boy, but going the whole nine yards, surgically transforming your body to be the sex you want to be. No surgery as good as it makes a man look can make him totally and wholesomely the woman he wants to be. God cannot be mocked. As long as he has no set of ovaries or a uterus planted in him, and has no ability to go through the monthly period, or carry a baby in him, a man is really still a man, who happens to make good physical impressions of womanhood.
Chaz Bono after her Sex change
I look at Chaz Bono going through her transformation to be the Man she wants to be and my soul searches for a reason for that. I hear stories about how tormented they are, and how trapped they feel in their bodies, and how free they feel when they transform to the opposite sex. I'll say it again... i still can't understand. Thank God I've never had to be in the place they find themselves, a place of struggle and uncertainty. That's something to be thankful for. I would never know or understand how they feel, but it must be terrible to go through such drastic transformation and having to deal with judgment from people.

Does it mean God is a mean God? Letting them go through the emotions they go through and the changes? Why didn't he just let them come into the world as the sex they think they should be? Why would he punish them so if he loves us so? Of course i know it doesn't mean that, but sometimes we look for answers by asking all the wrong questions.
What do we say of transsexuals who go through surgery and all, only to later regret their decisions and try to have corrective surgery to reverse their decisions? One of such stories here.

Truth is, from reading such stories of reversion, i come to understand again, that no one is truly satisfied with the thing he pursues for peace when he eventually gets it. There's a peace like no other that nipping, cutting, reshaping, being different from the acceptable norms and all can never give. You change, become who you want to be, but your heart is still searching, free but not really free.

Things we never have the answers to.
I just pray many who find themselves with such internal turmoil and self identity crisis are able to recognize the one who knows all, who corrects all and who gives peace. I don't have an opinion, i just seat on a two way path labeled 'right and wrong'. I choose the path i see as rightness, not because i am wise, but because my bible says certain things, and i happen to be among those who are foolishly 'blinded' by the book. But then what does it matter, i don't understand some things, and so i refuse to be judged for my opinion.


I guess why i brought the topic of Clifford/Miss Sahara up here is because i feel a sting or two when i hear the words thrown at him where ever his picture is put up. I'm not in support of the choices he's made, but what happened to love? What happened to compassion? What happened to not casting stones?
As we go about making up vile words for people in Miss Saharas shoes and gays/lesbians and beating them up, lets remember that as unnatural and sinful as we perceive their choices to be (because the bible clearly speaks against homosexuality; ("...Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done." Romans 1:26-28), we pass judgment on ourselves as we judge them for their choices, because as long as we keep lying, sleeping around, gossiping, cheating, hating, backbiting... we are no different.(...full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents.They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. Romans 1:29-31)

Lets stop being selective when it comes to using the bible and Christianity to judge. No sin is bigger than the other, a sin is a sin, wrong is wrong... don't feel too comfortable putting them in a 'different' category, because we're right in that box as long as we live contrary to Gods will as revealed in the bible. We will not be given a lighter punishment for not being gay, for sleeping with only members of the opposite sex.
Fact no one has called you out for moving in with your boyfriend doesn't mean it is right (or gives you the right to be nasty to others) I know it's wrong, but I've never called you a ho.... Like someone said on Twitter 'Jesus always condemned the sin but never the person! Judge not lest you be judged yourself. Rather restore in love.'


8 comments :

  1. I follow your train of thoughts and your inability to understand... I have searched myself many times too and also find it hard to understand...
    Yet one cannot ignore the feelings they have... the pain they say they have... the feeling of entrapment and like you said... we dont have to understand but we can love... we can have compassion and we can pass up the opportunity to judge!

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  2. same time, not using compassion to overlook what's wrong, and accept it as a norm.

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  3. After Caster Semenya, I've come to realise that physiologically, sexes are not always so clearcut. They may be in the minority but what of those situations where those hormones act differently but aren't so obvious? I guess God that allowed them to be born that way did not make mistakes. One can never tell what internal stimuli make people make choices on what sex they prefer, unless we are God (which we are not), I say live and let live.

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  4. I say satisfaction cannot be found in any thing or any other than being satisfied in christ

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  5. I really, really like this post.
    We can't always understand everything, people's choices and decisions, but we can love regardless.

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  6. some things cannot be understood unless you experience them first hand. i hate to worry about other people's issues so i ignore them..nice blog

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  7. Remember the first sin was take into ourselves the experience ("knowledge") of good and evil; the first reaction to which was shame. From shame we come to judgement.

    Jesus teaches that, there is a wedge between us and God; that this judgement of ourselves and others is that wedge; and that forgiveness is available for the asking. Really, the only hard part is to realize and remember that forgiveness is GOOD, all the time and every time.

    For whenever we truly believe that, we are vibrating at the level of Jesus.

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  8. Wise words well spoken. The greatest commandment we are given is to love God with all our heart and then to love our neighbour as ourselves. There needs to be more love in the world to accept people first and then help them to find a place in God. It is only from this source that true happiness can be found. We don't always have all the answers and the bible is clear on what is right and what is wrong and that should not be comprised. However , Jseus loves the sinner and hates the sin and all sin is sin. We need more love and compassion in the worls it is only this that truly brings about the transformation in the heart that enables us live the live Christ intended us to live. Love conquers all. Great post.

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