who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Lest I forget


Most of us have had wounds that's left scars.
Deep cut wounds of the past. Bruises in the heart, and wounds of the flesh. Scars in one place or the other, marks of remembrance somewhere et co. They all tell a story, some beautiful, some brutal, some just too ugly for keeps, thus we have therapys to heal our hearts, plastic surgery to cover up the blemish, and thank God for all the beauty creams that promises to fade the marks out and of course photo-shop to hide that ugliness.
Some guy asked me about my scar recently and he tried recommending 'python oil' to fade it away, i just smiled at him and thanked him, i told him i liked my scar good. He would never understand or maybe he will, if he ever gets to read this.(maybe i should put a picture up)
"...I believe scars are lessons learned, so I won't even fix any blemishes..." Janette Ikz p4Cm
Jesus has a scar of remembrance; the scar of the nails on the cross remain on his hands and his feet. “...His power can remove them but its there for all to see, to remind us of the pain and agony that he endured on Calvary” TYe TRIBET. And so when we mess up yet again, he can only love us through the pain we cause him cos his love for us and all he's gone through to redeem us is imprinted on his palms. It's his mark of remembrance. "Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb?Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;Your walls are continually before Me". Isaiah 49:15:16 

I’ve got a scar on my right arm. It used to be embarrassing. Especially when everyone wanted to know what happened. I would self consciously hold my left hand over it when I wore sleeveless clothes, making me look clumsy, or use the veils I love to carry to cover it up. It was a lot bigger than what it looks like today. It’s a shadow of what it used to be, but its still there all the same. And somehow that ugly black spot is more of a beauty spot to me than a mark of death and doom that it was before.

About three years ago I was this close to dying. Struggling between wanting to let go and wanting to live. I remember going out for apple crumbles with my friend Remi and he noticed a small bump on my arm, we both dismissed it as a mosquito bite. It got bigger that weekend, and more painful by the hour, throbbing and red and then suddenly I wasn’t breathing good, and then I was hanging on to life and blab la bla, I’ll spare you the details.
I look at the spot today and it takes me back to the memories of lying on a hospital bed, not able to breath, not knowing what was wrong, afraid and empty. Needing constant jabs in my vein, like a high to keep me alive. Not sleeping fine cos I was scared of dying… my dreams were haunted I tell you. But somehow God delivered me; despite not being the person he wanted me to be.
These days I don’t care much about my scar. You see a black ugly spot, I see a beautiful tiny spot that says 'if not for the mercies of God, where would I be today?' It’s like a rainbow to me. You know how God destroyed the world with water and vowed never to do it again, thus the rainbow is a mark of the covenant, it puts us to remembrance of his promise to us. Well some might see this explanation as stupid. I mean, the fact is the rainbow exist and there’s a scientific explanation on what causes it to be, but the truth is, it’s a sign of Gods promise to man, so is it with my scar, the fact is that there’s a medical explanation, but the truth is, its my own little covenant stone. 
When I feel sick again, when I’m tempted to stop fighting, when i struggle for breath, that little scar reminds me that never again, it might come one way or the other, like floods do, but it will never destroy me.
The mark is my victory over death,  my reminder, my promise that I would not die but live to declare God’s goodness. Its my mark of redemption. Some things happen for a reason, and that episode of illness was the life turner for me, the cold that pushed me closer to God for his warmth. The scar is my testimony. I love it that i've still got it.
"How stubborn the scars which won't fade away… or just a gentle reminder that now are betterdays…" Steve Whyte
The scars from our past shouldn't be hidden... they're a reminder of what we've been delivered from. They're there lest we forget, they may have come about from something ugly, but with the master it's all transformed to a story of beauty and grace.
It could be a scar of a heartbreak... but look at you now, Thank God your heart got broken then and you got something better today.
It could be the scar of being an addict... but look at you now, Thank God you didn't die in that live you lived, thank God you're a survivor and look how far you've come today.
It could be the scar of rape and abuse.... Thank God the scar has helped you find your voice, to speak out and help others going through the same.
It could be the scar of..... you get my point?
The scars are there lest we forget... he brought us out once, he can do it again. Lest we forget... to be thankful, it's a gentle nudge of reminder that all is indeed well with God on the throne.
I'm truly thankful for every scar in my life.

5 comments :

  1. Very Inspiring as usual--Choosing to see "beauty" in what others might see as "pain" or "ugly".

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  2. That God for God and for scars which help us remember.

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  3. Oh yes! I agree. Sometimes I'm glad I have scars because they serve as reminders of where I've been and just how far I've come. Lest we forget.

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  4. Very Inspiring,every scar either tells a story or has a victory Symbol...Thank GOD for Scars..

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  5. Hmmmm, so, so inspiring! I came across it just wen d thought of looking desperately for wat I can fade my scars wit.

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