who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't 'Jealous' Me.

Jealousy is a feeling imbibed in most of us... you either let it control and consume you, taking over your life or you become the boss of it, choosing not to accommodate it.
I have friend's who have achieved a lot and sometimes the tug tries to take over but i kill it as i feel the green eyed monster rise within me and i make the calls and send the messages to congratulate, because i know we are on different paths, everyone's future has been tailor made to suite him. I could never be a fashion designer or a beauty queen or a banker or a phd holder. It would never work if her fiance proposed to me instead of her...
When it comes to jealousy you've got to take a stand and believe in yourself, cos that's the only way you can kill it and celebrate others instead of bringing them down or try to 'pour sand in their garri'.
Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth.  Each of us has something to give that no one else has.  ~Elizabeth O'Connor
I go to a friends house for the first time, i compliment on something nice about the house.(i don't go sulking because my house is smaller)
You get a new job, I'm excited about your job, and i try to see the good in it encouraging you while you whine about the bad side(i don't gloat that you hate your new fab job)
I really do want to know that you're fine.(i'm not calling to check that your life sucks so i can feel better about mine)
A friend wears a new dress i compliment.(even though i can't afford it)
A friend buys a car, I'm excited...
A friend has a talent, I'm her fan and try my best to be a good customer and promoter...(not going round telling people she ain't no good)
I try my best, but then i know its a cold world.
Its amazing how you get the best compliments from those you expect less from... and those who are 'close' to you just watch you and never say anything. I mean we don't need their words, but then again it hurts. Are we supposed to be friends?
Can't you see I'm doing something great? Aren't you happy for me? Wouldn't you say a prayer for me when I'm going through stuff? Remember me? I was there for you...
I learned not to expect much from people... especially those i call friends.
Jealousy births hate... It's alarming the venom you find when a backbite/gossip is exposed.
"Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you.  There is only one alternative - self-value.  If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved.  You will always think it's a mistake or luck.  Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within.  Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences.  Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security.  Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them."  ~Jennifer James
And those 'friends' whose every other month call always starts with "when are you getting married?" The call feels like a self evaluation test for them. Because they're scared... It's like there's some competition and their day only gets better with the fact that you're still in the place where they want you to be... single, and you haven't gotten married before them after all. Because they're insecure and scared that they'll end up alone, but it wouldn't be so horrible for them if they don't have you see you happy and married. I'm almost always tempted to say "you didn't get my invite?" Just to hear the reaction. There's the conversation you have with other friends when that question pops up and you know it's just conversation and fun jabs, but with these ones... you just know how wrong it is on many levels.
My life is simple... I really don't get the need of you to see your life as a competition with mine, because in truth, if a poll is taken, many would vote your life as more interesting than mine. But you're too busy consuming jealousy straight from the bottle, and you're just too drunk with it to realize.

The bible says to pray for your enemies, then how much more are we to pray for our friends? Pray for them and tame the jealous beast within you. I pray we all learn to count our blessings rather than counting the blessings of others. You'll be amazed at how blessed you are even without her job, without her man, without her car, without her vacations, without living her life...
It's a cold cold world for a person who's life is a slave to jealousy.
"Jealousy is an outgrowth of not realizing who you are and what you possess. It’s born of fear that someone has a better life than yours, even though the people you envy are not without their own insecurities, pains and unrequited dreams and hopes. Focus on your accomplishments, not your failures. Count your blessings. Celebrate the life you’ve been given" T.D Jakes

2 comments:

  1. Wow, long post
    If you know who you are
    you are more than half way there.
    If you don't, well what can i say, you are just like almost 7 billion people on this earth.

    What am i saying? Develop you and shine bright!
    The sky is not your limits, you don't have any limits

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  2. hmmm true words,i come from a large polygamous family and this is where all these issues play out its about his brother or sister or uncle or aunt jealous of you or tries to make themselves fell better by highlighting one's inadequacies especially when my dad is present.

    dad was here for a week and had a family meeting with some of his children who resides here,and the eye service was zoo much that i just had to relax and chill out

    ReplyDelete

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