who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

You Think You Know... I Saw Hell

It's amazing how you figure you know someone so well, when in truth you have no idea... A friend of mine put up a note on facebook. I've known her for a couple of years, we went to same school and all. Years later i started bumping into her in church and was like 'o really?' She's one of those who dances her heart out in church while you're trying to be righteously cool in your dance and same time wondering what the deal is with her... Her passion challenges me to be better. I hope this will touch our hearts and and melt the ice away before it's too late. Be blessed by her story.

This is a true life story, I promised God I would tell the world; I however battled with this truth for years, I am willing to finally fulfill the will of God in my life by allowing the world to hear a real life testimony of my encounter with hell.
I got a job to work in a financial institution during my NYSC service year; and reported to a lady who was my Department head. Working with her was very difficult; she made life hard for me. I almost lost the job to her doing, when God intervened. A team member of the management, developed interest in the case and it was addressed. Following these; we developed cordial relationship.

One faithful day, he invited me to hang out and I obliged, when I got to the venue,i realized it was his guest house; we chatted and what followed was not anticipated. He kissed me and became aggressive when I stopped him. What started as a cool evening became an ugly one. He raped me despite all the pleas, screams, tears and struggle. He apologized and said he didn’t know what came over him.

It didn’t change anything as the deed had being done and the incident could not be erased with a sorry.
This incident left me in shock, I was completely traumatized and it got worse as the days passed by. I couldn’t share this problem with anyone and it was eating me up inside. I guess this goes with the saying “a problem shared is a problem solved”. I was almost going crazy with series of emotions flowing through my head; I sure needed to talk to someone, a psychologist, family, friends, or anyone. I could not though, as I felt ashamed and blamed myself for obliging the invite. I got courage and told my supervisor without revealing the identity of the person.

It didn’t get easier as the psychological pain continued and took a different toll, I went for a checkup and the result indicated I was pregnant. It was indeed unbelievable, this is considering the fact I had being working on my faith that dwindled when I got into the university and began dating. I had broken my oath of not having sex before marriage when I got into the relationship. To renew this vow to God, I had to take drastic decisions like breaking the relationship that had lasted for about 5-6 years and was geared towards marriage. I had become celibate for more than a year. With this also in view, it wasn’t easy taking this report. Here was I having difficulty dealing with the trauma of being raped, and I now had deal with being pregnant for someone I could not even imagine having in my life, someone who had violated me.

I had one option to have the baby, thou I feared what my family and friends would think. I was finished; that’s what I thought. He soon realized the position things had taken and suggested I had a clean break, have an abortion and end the story, have my life back and not have to worry about losing my reputation.(did I mention he was married) yea he was.
I considered the suggestion remembering the curse I had pronounced on myself growing up “The day I tried an abortion that would be the day I die”. It wasn’t easy making a decision at that point; I made one bearing in mind the circumstances at hand.

I went to see a doctor he had recommended and was unconscious as the surgery took place, in the minutes that followed I died, my spirit left my body, as I gazed at my physical body almost identical with my spirit body, I thought it was amazing. I was soon caught up in the air and rejoiced believing I was being assumed in to heaven. In a second my life flashed before me and I was in hell. yea hell; it was unbelievable; the fire fumed and burnt uncontrollably. No this wasn’t happening to me I thought, I had been a good person and only got into this mess due to an unfortunate situation. I saw people crying and pleading for a second chance, the screams were horrible. Some people had being burning for over 100 years, as the fire ravished my whole being I realized that I was in here for eternity.

As everyone pleaded, it was obvious that it was too late. I screamed with all the energy in me, I could not stop screaming despite my exhaustion. I couldn’t believe this was true; once again, I thought it was a nightmare and hoped I would wake up and discover it was all a dream. It sure wasn’t, I was in hell. I saw a wall stretched out in the face of the deep, it was bottomless with cubicles (cell units) enclosed with coverings that looked like web made out of sand by locust. It seemed difficult to comprehend the idea that I was condemned to eternal damnation. I remember seeing a lady who had being burning for over 100 years nonstop, she’d being burning way before I was conceived and delivered into the world. She was tired of the pain but it wouldn’t stop, her flesh would melt like magna from a volcanic eruption and soon form back, it just continued over and over again. This view could also be likened with the red steaming liquid of melted iron in a furnace. This image was unbearable. As I continued to scream and experience anguish and horror that can be best described by the revelations forwarded to John in the book of revelations, I thought about decisions I would have taken differently and realized indeed a living dog is better than a dead lion. I was dead and there was no hope.

Everyone reading this is alive so there is hope, you can change your decisions today while you can, cause in a second it might be too late. If you have no hands, legs, you’re deaf and dumb but you alive, you just got to be grateful you are alive to secure your destiny today. It really doesn’t matter if you are deformed and probably eating stool and drinking stagnant fluid from a gutter. Your being alive is a great testimony, I can tell you that. What will you gain if you gain the entire world’s respect, have all the affluence and wealth one could ever dream of and live at least 120years; at that point, you will beg for death. And woe to you if after living an affluent life for 120yrs on earth, you have to spend a million years in hell, where you never die despite all the pain. Think about this!

I continued to plead for a second chance along with the people who were also condemned to burn in hell for a life time. Their cries met no response from God, as a time will come when you will call upon God and he would not listen, you will knock on the door and it will not be opened. Seek God now while you can find him.
I pleaded for a chance to make it right, I asked God to give me just a second to breathe and declare that he is worthy, then he could take me back. Nothing mattered then, not what people would have thought of me if I had made a different choice of keeping the baby. Soon after I realized how many chances I had all my life, as I answered the following question. How many seconds are in a minute? Ans: 60sec. How many minutes are in an hour? Ans: 60mins; how many hours are in a day? Ans: 24hrs, how many days are in a month, Ans; 31days, how many months are in a year and finally how many years are in my lifetime. After doing the math I discovered the number of chances I had missed. I needed just a second, I was given a good number years to make my ways right, and I had failed. I kept gnashing my teeth and pleading for a chance to tell the world what I had seen. God however reminded me he had sent his son Jesus and the world rejected him, he also revealed heaven and hell in the book of revelations; these was handed over to John for the whole world, and the world still refused to listen.


At this time I couldn’t believe it was over for me like the others who are still pleading and burning right now. I kept promising to tell the world what I had seen and would stop at nothing to reveal the truth to the world. The lord told me this had been revealed to many who had experiences of being taken up to heaven and hell, yet the world refused to believe them, so how did I think people would believe me. I told him I would tell everyone the reality of what I had encountered.
In the next seconds that followed I saw myself descending to earth towards the hospital where my body laid; I woke up suddenly and was filled with fear from the encounter I just had. I left the hospital with so much fear as the memory and reality of hell continued to flash on my mind, I wondered why people took this topic for granted. At that time, I felt the best thing to do was lock myself up and just remain there worshiping God, day and night without distractions as little as eating, sleeping, bathing e.t.c But God wants us to live our lives bearing fruit for the kingdom. He has given us the earth so we can take dominion of everything that creeps on land, air and water.


As the days followed I got a revelation from the scriptures on how to attain righteous living. This I got from the book of (Psalm Ch 119:9-13) “how can a young man keep his way pure? And the answer was also in the same verse “I hide thy word in my heart that I may not sin against you”. I then caught this revelation, I realized all I needed to overcome sin was the word (Jesus), and I also remembered Jesus overcame temptations by responding with the word of God “it is written that…” I then knew for certain that I needed to fill myself up with the word of God. By doing so, I would have the right word for any temptation. My heart will become a storage bank for the word, as it is written “my words will no longer be written on tablet of stones but will be written on their hearts.” The body is indeed the temple of the lord where the word (God) dwells.


After these encounter, I continued to grow in faith, though did not fulfill my promise as I vowed. It’s been about 5 being years since this happened. Decided to publish this now with this scripture in mind “I will go into your house with burnt offerings, I will pay my vows which my lips have uttered and my mouth has spoken when I was in trouble” (Psalm Ch 66:13&14).
I want to say congratulations to anyone who have accepted Jesus as his Lord and personal savior, however it’s not over till you reach the mark “you also be patient, establish your heart for the coming of the lord is at hand” (James Ch 4:8), I will also urge all who are yet to receive him to embrace him and obey this scripture “confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James Ch 4:16) God healed me totally body mind and soul, He can heal you as well with no regards to your situation. He forgave me as I forgave myself and the perpetrator of this tale.
If you are willing to embrace Jesus as your lord and personal savior please repeat this prayer bearing in mind that if “you believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe and tremble.”(James Ch 2:19) You need to know him personally;

PRAYER
Lord Jesus! I confess I am sinner, I believe that Jesus Christ of Nazareth died for my sins, please blot out all my transgressions (sins). Cleanse me with the precious blood of Jesus. Write my name in the book of life; come in to my life and take total control. Thank you for your mercy, am born again, old things have passed away.


If you have said this prayer, rejoice because you are born again, yes! you are! That is all it takes, i'm glad you are knocking when the door can be opened and you're seeking when you can find.
If you are still confused or not ready to do this now remember that “ with the lord one day is as a thousand years and a thousand years as one day” it is also good to know that “If the righteous one is scarcely saved, where will the ungodly and the sinner appear” (1 peter ch: 18) . God saved only Noah and Lot’s family amongst the generations of old that faced destruction. He will not lower his standard.
Choose now whom you will serve God or mammon for tomorrow will be too late. “For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him will have eternal life” (John Ch 3:16).

17 comments:

  1. triple WOW!


    Thank God for her life and second chances. God is awesome

    Thanks for sharing this

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  2. Scary!!! thanks for the post, we thank God for a second chance.

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  3. "But God wants us to live our lives bearing fruit for the kingdom"

    This just ministered to me, i thank God for bringing you through it all.
    Forgiving others hurt is difficult but it is the best gift you can give yourself.

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  4. WOW!!!!!!!!!!
    The God of second chances..

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  5. Wow, i can't imagine, kudos to you for sharing this..

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  6. I thank God for you and the message

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  7. OMG this is all kinds of scary and inspiring. you are so strong!! Thanks for sharing something like this.

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  8. Double WOW!!!

    Thank you for this post.....even though you delayed in putting it up, it was the right time for some of us.

    Thank God for 2nd, 3rd, 4th .....chances.


    Ps: thanks for the comment on my blog.

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  9. you scared me with the name of post however when i start reading that post my fear gone away and now after reading the whole post i just say its amazing writing skills you got.

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  10. Thanks for sharing. I am sure that you have helped
    many as well as yourself by doing so. All the best

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  11. Scary but Thanks for sharing.Its a brave thing you did.

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  12. He truly is a God of second chances. Thanks for sharing. Scary, but in a good way. Sorry you had to go through that. Thank God for your life. you have touched so many lives since.

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  13. wwow..Thank you Jesus..
    Very inspring..The have I hidden in my heart that I might not sin against thee..

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  14. thank you for sharing! God bless you... i have more to say but for some reason, i doubt words will capture what i have to say. so wrap ur arms around you and imagine that i am giving you a tight big squeeze, a bear hug. So much more to say...

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