I’m not a dumb child, no I never was. Maybe sometimes I gave my dad reasons to doubt with my dumb questions, but thankfully he thought I was just a witty child. My granddaddy called me fq the clever, he was a wise old man, he looked beyond my ‘moments’ and called a spade a spade even when it looked like a stick. He called me clever.
Having said this to vindicate myself and clear the doubts, I’m not, was not and never will be.
But mathematics loves to put me in a tight corner sometimes. I wouldn’t tell you what my scores were or how I survived uni having to do a little bit of statistics, or how I even survived secondary school waec and jamb.
this is probably something i might have been capable of
I got home one cold winter night to find my sister and my niece struggling with her homework, a division equation. They had solved all but this particular equation, they got an answer with the calculator that was completely different from what they had, they almost doubted the credibility of the calculator.
My niece eagerly called for my help when I walked in … now don’t go pointing dumb fingers at me, remember it was a very cold night, I had just come home after a long train ride, and it drizzled on me while I waited for a cab to pick me at a corner to bring me home, and it seemed I had forgotten my phone in the cab. So my brain, my very clever brain was numb with cold. I looked at that equation and had no idea, I was clueless as to how to work the division formula, talk less of solving that question.
None of the two sisters around could solve the equation, we were contemplating sending a mail to my brother to have a go at it, …. I was getting quite scared, I know how my nieces brains work, next thing they start asking questions or joking about my dumbo brain.
My mum watched her children quietly as we shamed her, can’t imagine what she was thinking. All the money she spent on our education. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she asked us as calmly as she could to give her the worksheet. I rolled my eyes in my head thinking "please lady, don’t join us in this pile of shame for your grandchildren, lets have some dignity left in their presence."
Less than five minutes later, mum gives us the paper, we look up the answer in the calculator and the woman had solved it to the last decimal point. Every step clearly written out. Shame on us.
Never underestimate the intelligence of a grandma. Even when it comes to mathematics.


  1. ha ha ha! im like that too. I have no clue what 10 times 10 is....our parents are smart

  2. LOOL i suck at maths!, my parents have accepted that as an unchangeable fact.

  3. Hilarious!
    Can't imagine being in your position.
    Hello FQ


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