who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Sick Note.

I shouldn't be exposing myself here. but warrahell. If y'all don't laugh with me, then who will?

Last time i found my head in a toilet bowl, i had mummy, my sister, my brother and my nieces around me. which made it less daunting.

And so as i found myself all alone in the bathroom months later, head over toilet bowl, feeling like my guts would come out, all i wanted was mummy, or any of my sisters to hold me up and splash water on my face, but alas, i was alone. After repeating the journey to the bathroom a number of times, i grabbed my pillow with me the next time i had to run in there,  because i knew i'd be too weak to make a return to my bed, thus i lay on the cold cold floor of the bathroom, my head balanced on my pillow, slipping in and out of oblivion as i retched all the emptiness in my belly out, that's when the hallucination started.

 I tried to pray for strength but all i could pray was  'God please let Bertie, King George VI die already so i can feel better'. Apparently his living was holding my good health at bay.(blame my ongoing study of the British monarchy for this)

Mummy wasn't coming to hold me up, and neither were my sisters, and so the emperor of china lifted me from the floor. He's such a nice man. It doesn't matter that he did it cos i was willing to sign a peace treaty with china. Anyway he lifted me and held me over the toilet and i retched again, and then he helped me get my face splashed with water and walked me to my bed, covering me up real good. I was so glad he helped me out.
And as i closed my eyes to sleep, it happened, a mosquito bit me, and another flew by my ear, even with the full blast of the ac and fan, those little imps were still operating. I was mad(i hate mosquitoes). Apparently mosquitoes are Chinese(according to my Sunday evening madness) because still hallucinating i asked the emperor to call his mosquitoes off or i wouldn't sign the peace treaty, he tried to plead his case saying they were defectors and he had no hold over them, well i was so pissed, i didn't sign the treaty.(now i feel bad, how in the world would i have expected him to do that?)

At this point, the song i'm thinking of is 'Bug a boo', from my Disney mousercise cd, (i know i shouldn't be listening to that cd at this age, its time to hand it on to my nieces, but its quite therapeutic  hearing donald duck, micky, minnie and the others sing), anyway one of my favorite songs on the cd is bug a boo.
Underneath the carpet in the dead of the night, take a peak and you will see a marvelous sight, dancing, romancing, doing the bug-a-boo, roaches and some Beatles are the boys in the band. Crickets are the singers, they’re the best in the land, dancing, romancing doing the bug a boo.
Well lets do the bug a boo, come on and shake a leg or two from the big grasshopper to the tiny teeny bumper, they know what they love to dooooooooo.... BUG A BOO
Look out everybody it’s the star of the show, lovely little molly shes a hot mosquito. dancing, shes prancing and doing the bug a boo
No one else can do a samba the way that she does, when she gets a going she can give you a buzz, dancing, romancing doing the bug a boo 
Well lets do the bug a boo, come on and shake a leg or two, from the big grass hopper to the tiny teeny bumper they know what they love to do… bug a boo.
See the crazy spider with the gleam in his eye, whats he doing dancing with the sweet little fly, he’s dancing, prancing and he’s doing that bug a boo, come on little lady…. Lets go bug a boo……. Dancing, prancing and doing that bug a boo
I handled matters on my own, declaring the emperor an enemy. In Jack Bauer style, i crashed the party myself(from the above lyrics), killed all the bugs and captured Molly, the hot mosquito. She's probably like the beyonce of bug world. And how i tortured her bit by bit till she told me the strategy mosquitoes use, in frustrating and biting me. Then i killed her. And life was better. Then i had to force myself off the bed to get some tylenol, unfortunately the emperor was not at hand to help me anymore.

That's what a fever does to you. Say no to fevers. But i got to learn that indeed i am made for greatness, of all things to hallucinate about i chose kings and emperors, i know y'all  got yourself hallucinating about saint obi in a yellow suite. I'm a star baby!!!!! and between, I'm much better now. My appetite is still playing a game of tag with me, but i don't care, at least i can comfortably wear a cropped top if i choose to. And i'm going home to mummy is a few days, hurray!!!!

3 comments :

  1. Wow, that was one hallucination! Hope you'e feeling better now?

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  2. thanks Myne, i'm much better now. At least i'm back to thinking straight again:)

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  3. LOL!! at first i though you were preggers or sumn :p
    Fevers are terrible hey. when i had my last serious fever i hallucinated about rats :/

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