who am i?

"I write for the unlearned about things in which I am unlearned myself." - CS Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

Monday, April 11, 2011

I is for Insecure...

I come across insecure people everyday or maybe every other day.
I've learned that being rich or pretty or loved doesn't automatically give you a pass to the land of self-confidence.

Not knowing who you are kills you.
Of course you know you're beautiful, but that doesn't stop you from being insecure, everyone has to have a motive for smiling at you, everyone has to be gossiping about you, everyone has to be hating on you, every word spoken has to have a deeper meaning and everything has got to be about you when you're not even about yourself.

I know a couple of rich people who are just  piles of insecurity walking in designer heels and drenched in diamond jewelry. The more they feel insecure, the more they shop for expensive things and the more their self worth is depreciated because they are defined by their possessions, thus the more they look down on people.
Trying to prove yourself by letting them know who you are, your friend buys a range, you buy two ranges and throw in a jet for good measure(or lie about it).
And the pretty girls who act all bitchy and put on smirks and snigger when other girls step into the room? And they way they respond to greetings? The most insecure set of people ever.

Knowing who you are beyond your wealth, your beauty and your intelligence brings you into a place of rest. That's why you'll buy that primark dress you like and wear it confidently, that's why you'll compliment a lady who looks nice, that's why you'll be happy for your friends success, that's why your smile will brighten someones day, that's why you wouldn't look down on people. That's why you'll hang out with friends who carry chanel and not fidget all evening because you're thinking 'i should have brought mine' while your leg is sorta, kinda kicking your aldo/zara bag under the table. Because you dont have to prove anything to anyone, not even yourself.

Jesus knew who he was. He is the greatest example of a secure person.
"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God;  so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.  After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him." John 13:3-5
 When you know you're all that in Christ, nothing else matters. The bible emphasized that Jesus knew who he was, thus he knew that God had given him every authority~(and we are joint heirs with Christ, thus we have same authority) He didn't care if they would think him less by washing their feet, he didn't think himself less either. He had an identity and that was his anchor, thus he could serve with all his heart and not be called a servant, he could dine with the tax collectors and talk with the prostitutes and not care what they called him for showing them love. He could stand before his accusers and not say a word to defend himself, even when just a word could have shut them up. He knew who he was. He had no time for ego tripping.

Who are you? 
With all our wealth, and beauty and fame and intelligence, and marriage and career, we are still incomplete, for all these things without Christ in us is nothing. And we'll always be in that place of emptiness, looking for that one thing to fill us up.
With Christ as my anchor, i am everything. With my little, i have much, with nothing, i still have joy. My joy is in him and not in my wardrobe, my makeup, my account, my shares, my body, or the compliments i receive. I was insecure once upon a time, so i should know:). Maybe i still have little traces here and there, but shedding off is a process, it takes time, the best thing is not being where i used to be, because i've let him take over.
"I am forgiven, I am your friend
I am accepted, I know who I am
I am secure, I'm confident
That I am loved, I know who I am" i know who i am, Israel Houghton
Who are you?

*************
Happy birthday to one of the best, most generous sisters ever. Biba...(I'm waiting for my car gantana) i love her more than numbers. I'm thankful to God for making her WHO SHE IS to me. (again, this is all for the car, i'm waiting)

3 comments :

  1. Everyone has a bit of insecurity in them, in my opinion.....i used to be really insecure, explains all the pain i have had to deal with in the past

    Once you know who you are in Christ, that assurance alone takes away the insecurity.......
    Big process :)

    p.s: err i was on your blog a few minutes ago and this post was not there so i think i can confidently say i am the first reader :)

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  2. yeah, sometimes being in christ isnt all(i need to edit the post) its knowing who you are in him that gives you the boost you need.

    i should get that hakuna matata shirt for my z pressy from YOU:)

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  3. I think Fumns got it right there, most of us have a bit of insecurity in us. Thank God for his love, and peace.

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